And It Slips Away

Thanksgiving is next week.

Let me reiterate that:

Thanksgiving is next week!!!

I am not prepared.

First off, I haven't lost the 20 pounds that I'm probably going to gain in the next 6 weeks.

Secondly, I'm not prepared for my semester to be over (alright... I am actually ready for that. I can't stand school anymore.). 

But I am prepared for Christmas, as evidenced by the Instagram picture taken last night:

Yep. The garland is hung. I will next be hunting for the stocking holders. My roommate suggested that I use left over cardboard from the box my new bed shipped in to make the bar look like a fireplace. But that seems to take more time and effort than what it's worth.

It's not that I hate Thanksgiving, I just think that they are wrapped up in each other. Because of Thanksgiving, I get to celebrate Christmas a little longer and be grateful and give to others. I don't know how to explain it. But I love this time of year.

I also love the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade. Which I will be watching. On a big screen TV. At least, that's what I'm hoping.

Also, I bought my ticket back to San Diego for Christmas. There will be children. And warm weather. Definitely beats the snow fall that we recently had here in Salt Lake City.

Saturday Stories: The One When I Went 4-Wheeling

Saturdays are my day to kick back and tell the funny stories that happen in my life. 

The stuff that make my sister-in-law gawk and stutter and not know how to respond because these things don't happen to normal people. 

They happen to me.

There used to be this guy who attend church with me. I'd talk to him at activities, text him when I knew there was some function or gathering planned, but all-in-all, I saw that a) I definitely wasn't interested in him and b) he was pretty much using me to meet the girls at church. 

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for organizing gatherings, giving my friends courage to talk to the boys. But I really do hate when boys use me to get to my friends. 

So, this guy—we'll call him Ryan—had planned a fantastic date with a girl from church (not one of my friends) and lined up his roommate with her half sister. It was set for Labor Day. 

Ryan texts me at about 9:00 AM asking if I would be interested in going 4-wheeling. Having no plans for the day, never having been 4-wheeling, and since I rarely go out with a boy, I said yes. Apparently, his date called him up that morning and canceled because the sisters had been in a fight.

[source]

The dune buggy was too loud for much conversation to happen. He didn't bring a water bottle for me at all. We mostly drove around this mountain side. Up and down. No talking. And all I could think of was how I wish I had a book with me. 

Periodically, we would stop... but it was always so that he could go off into the bushes and relieve himself (seriously... one time he was so close, I could hear it and another time he took a phone call while doing his business). 

The ride home was my favorite part. We were in his truck and he talked about his previous girlfriends. Ryan said something to the effect of "If she never gets married it's because she turned me down. All because I still haven't gotten a bachelor's and she has her masters."

I wish there were words to describe how I felt. I had just started my third semester of my masters program. I certainly didn't look down on him for still working on his bachelor's, but it was his arrogance and his seemingly condescending attitude that any girl dare say no to him. And on top of that, he talks to me about all of the girls at church who he is interested in and asking me what I think about them and his chances with them.

Although I didn't have any inclination or desire to further this relationship, at that moment I thought, "You have absolutely no respect for me, because if you did, you wouldn't be talking about these girls as if they were a piece of meat while I'm here on the date with you."

Needless to say that after that, I barely ever spoke to Ryan. 

Maybe I was mean. Maybe I was judgmental. But my self-esteem is very soft, so I can't allow myself to be surrounded by guys who don't treat me well. Even if it is a mercy date.

Hence my new rule to dating: I refuse to go out with a guy last minute.

Saturday Stories: Dating a Co-worker

My co-worker once told me that my life was like a Jane Austen novel... 

For the record—it's definitely not Pride and Prejudice.

But today is another story from my life.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single girl, making her way in the world with a semi-decent job and progress towards a masters degree, is in want of a husband.

Right?

Okay... maybe only in Salt Lake City, Utah.

The truth is this:

I'm a 29 year old. The number of ways I can meet single guys is severely limited by not only my work schedule (sometimes, I think I'm in an extremely difficult relationship with work. Not good.) but also the lack of boys that I can interact with on a daily basis.

About a year ago, one of the single guys at work and I began to flirt on a more consistent basis. I'd make excuses to call him and talk about projects which would lead to other discussions. He would do the same. Three minute conversations turned into consistent 10 minute conversations.

The game was played for a good solid three months. 

Three months of questioning EVERYTHING.

Three months of asking random questions.

Three months of dropping hints and getting soft invitations and then him rescinding offers.

Finally, I had enough of the games. I wrote him a Facebook message. And told him: Stop playing and spend time with me if that's what you want. Otherwise, leave me alone.

He took me up on the challenge. We had a date to discuss dating (I think it was more of a hang out session, he said it was a date.) Our first official date was to go to see a movie. It was awkward. 

After another date, there was a drought. Holidays came and passed. He came to my birthday. I wondered if this was normal, while deep down telling myself that I was holding onto a nice fantasy.

He finally took me out to tell me that he had decided to get back together with his ex. In so many words he explained that I was meaner than he expected, I teased too much, and I wasn't the prettiest girl (because he never goes for the pretty girls). 

And don't worry, he told people at work that he made me cry. For the record? I didn't cry... in his presence. 

So, now I have dating rules. Well, currently only three. They are:

1. Never ask a boy out. (This rule may be broken but only in these ways.)

2. If a guy is not asking you out, he's not interested. MOVE ON!

3. Be nicer. Sarcasm can be sweet, but notice when I've turned it mean. 

Of course, I haven't had success yet, but I definitely am happier. 

But I wonder if that happiness has come from NOT dating...

It's possible.