Saturday Stories: My Butt, My Property

So... I was telling you about J.J.

After the text conversation I thought things were odd...

A few months later, I was at a ward activity. It was bowling. I was enjoying myself, being on a lane with my friends, eating pizza and drinking soda. Next to us was one of our leaders and his family.

As I stood to head up to bowl my turn, I felt something slap across my butt.

That's right. My butt.

I turned and there was J.J. 

He was pointing to our leader, yet his bowling shoes were in his hand. I sensed that these were the objects that had been used to slap me.

I glared at J.J. and scoffed at his attempts to convince me that our happily married leader would slap me across the butt with his children sitting right next to us.

That was the last time we really ever spoke. I think he got the hint that flirting with me takes a little bit of effort... and subtlety. 

Saturday Stories: The Texter

I'm not a big fan of texting.

It's really hard to say everything you mean in 160 characters.

(I have a difficult time with Twitter. I also refuse to use the shortened phrases like "k" or "OMG" or "c u soon". Yuck. Those tear at my tender English literature loving heart."

Still, I'm okay with sending a text to confirm plans or make plans or whatever. Sometimes you don't want to blab on the phone. I get it.

One day, my brother and his family were in town and invited me to dinner. I headed up to the mountains to their condo and patiently waited with my niece and nephews for my brother to arrive.

Out of the blue, J.J. (note: real name has been changed to protect the innocent) sends me a text. Sure, we knew each other from our singles ward. Maybe we had a few conversations. One of which was him telling me that there were no pretty girls in the ward. Oh-kay....

Anyways, he sends me a text:

What are you doing? - J.J.

My thoughts: What in the world? It's a Friday night. Does he need some information for church?

My text: I'm in Park City. What's up?

Park City? - J.J.

My thoughts: Didn't I just say that?

My text: Yeah. My brother is in town and I came up here for dinner. What do you need?

Oh cool. Well I'll let you go.

My thoughts: Say what????

My text: Okay. Have a good night.

Confused? Yeah... I was too. 

And then, I noticed that J.J. started to come around more often in social settings. At least sitting next to me. Although J.J. was nice (I was still bothered about his "pretty girls" assessment), there was no attraction on my part but seeing as how I get asked so few times, I tried to just be nice. And waited for him to ask me out.

It never happened.

And then we were put into separate wards.

And then I felt like it was okay to unfriend him from Facebook.