Saturday Stories: The End of an Era

I had been through a drought of dating. It was a famine of epic proportions. I think it had been 3 years since I'd been on a date.

And then I went out on a date with a guy my friend set me up with... in the midst of the date, I was alone at the bowling lane. So I checked my phone. There was a text from a guy I knew, Brad. Brad wanted to know if I could go see a movie.

When I was home from the date, I sent a text back that I couldn't because I had been out. He asked it I wanted to go out the next night. I said yes.

I didn't think it was a date. I thought it was a "hey, Emery's been having a rough time so we should hang out although we've never really hung out." But yet he dressed up, opened my doors, bought me a frappuccino from Starbucks, bought my movie ticket and was a perfect gentleman. 

I was smitten.

In one night, I grew a full blown crush on this guy that I had been superficially interacting with for a few months. And now... yep. I was a goner. (I realize now how ridiculous that was, but bear with me... like I said, there was famine in the land. One seems to always overeat after starving...)

A week later, we went to an activity that involved being on a train and cruising one of the valleys. It was in the evening and Brad found me. And we spent almost the entire train ride talking and flirting. In fact, there were a couple of moments when we got extremely close and I imagined that maybe he'd be the one to break the other drought—the haven't been kissed in 9 years drought.

Sunday, we saw each other and he gave me a nice little speech that we had gotten too close and he wasn't really interested in me "that way". 

Being the naive girl, I decided that I would find a way to convince him that he really didn't want me. 

For the record... it never works.

Saturday Stories: Oh the Arrogance...

Just last Sunday, I was invited to my friend's house for dinner.

En route to her house, I called my parents to have our weekly Sunday talk. I arrived before we had finished and so I parked and sat in my car talking on the phone. 

As we finished, I looked out the window to notice a young man staring at me. Not unattractive, but certainly not drop dead handsome (we're not talking Chris Evans, here...). He pointed up to the apartment and then to me. I hung up with my parents, and got out of my car.

Him: "Oh... do I know you?"

Me: "No."

Him: "So you're not Cassie?"

Me: "Obviously."

We both went up to Cassie's apartment. However, this guy made it a point to flirt with me. Being the only single girl besides Cassie, he sought to conquer. And although I did not desire his attention (and I only loved it a little bit until I realized that he was one of THOSE guys who wants all the girls to be in love with him), he certainly knew which buttons to push to make me blush.

As I left, he decided that he needed to give me a hug and to take a picture with me. 

I got into my car and wasn't thrilled by a new possibility... rather I was annoyed. Sure, I want to be won over, but not for the pride of being won over, but because I am wanted.

I hope I don't ever see him again.

Saturday Stories: Cheesecake Always Wins

There once was a boy.

I hated him on first sight. 

Okay, maybe hate is a strong word. I didn't like him though. He was the guy that EVERY girl was interested in. He was always surrounded by a grouping of girls. I don't like boys like that... they breed competition amongst girls. And as a self-proclaimed wallflower, I feel like I'm always going to be lost in the shuffle. 

But a group of people played softball every Thursday night. In the hopes that I could be a bit more social, I started to go. And then I remembered that as good as I think I am with sports, I'm rather slow and fat (it's true).

After the games, the group went to a ice cream place to celebrate our victories. We were that good. Except, I would head home. I had homework to do or work the next day and ice cream wasn't on the agenda (please also refer to the aforementioned fact that I was fat.).

But one time... one time I decided to go. Looking back, I can't decide that if it happened all over again, if I would go or wouldn't. 

This boy sat across from me and we talked. Really talked. Everyone else was joking or being twenty-something year olds without a care in the world, but we leaned in close and talked about things that were real, things that require a serious tone and maybe a witty joke to lighten the mood.

And he asked about a Facebook post I had made. Free cheesecake for someone who'd go with me to a restaurant. He wanted to go. So we agreed to meet the next day. 

He came. We ate. We talked. We laughed.

By the end of it, I was smitten. Forgotten was another boy who I had been holding on to for a month, hoping that maybe things would change and he'd like me. No more.

I don't think I've had a piece of cheesecake since then. Nor have I been back to that restaurant. That probably should change soon.

Saturday Stories: The Texter

I'm not a big fan of texting.

It's really hard to say everything you mean in 160 characters.

(I have a difficult time with Twitter. I also refuse to use the shortened phrases like "k" or "OMG" or "c u soon". Yuck. Those tear at my tender English literature loving heart."

Still, I'm okay with sending a text to confirm plans or make plans or whatever. Sometimes you don't want to blab on the phone. I get it.

One day, my brother and his family were in town and invited me to dinner. I headed up to the mountains to their condo and patiently waited with my niece and nephews for my brother to arrive.

Out of the blue, J.J. (note: real name has been changed to protect the innocent) sends me a text. Sure, we knew each other from our singles ward. Maybe we had a few conversations. One of which was him telling me that there were no pretty girls in the ward. Oh-kay....

Anyways, he sends me a text:

What are you doing? - J.J.

My thoughts: What in the world? It's a Friday night. Does he need some information for church?

My text: I'm in Park City. What's up?

Park City? - J.J.

My thoughts: Didn't I just say that?

My text: Yeah. My brother is in town and I came up here for dinner. What do you need?

Oh cool. Well I'll let you go.

My thoughts: Say what????

My text: Okay. Have a good night.

Confused? Yeah... I was too. 

And then, I noticed that J.J. started to come around more often in social settings. At least sitting next to me. Although J.J. was nice (I was still bothered about his "pretty girls" assessment), there was no attraction on my part but seeing as how I get asked so few times, I tried to just be nice. And waited for him to ask me out.

It never happened.

And then we were put into separate wards.

And then I felt like it was okay to unfriend him from Facebook.

Saturday Stories: The Library

Once upon a time...

I was a volunteer in the library. 

As I was trying to decide whether or not I should go into my masters program, I thought that a great way to get experience was to volunteer for four hours on Saturday.

Plus, my social life was pretty non-existent.

[source]

I would straighten the books on the shelves, and organize the books that needed to be re-shelved so that the library pages didn't have to do it. It was agonizing but I figured that everyone has to start somewhere.

One day, as I was straightening stacks, someone started to make a noise like "tsk, tsk". I ignored it as there were a lot of homeless people who seemed to wander around the library. But the voice was persistent and then I realized that it was a man, trying to get my attention. 

He asked what I was doing and if I worked there.

I told him that I was working toward my degree and I was just a volunteer.

He then told me I was pretty.

I focused on straightening the stacks. (Because I'm awkward like that and the only men who have ever told me I'm pretty are the ones who were drunk and trying to grope me on the subway). 

He asked for my number.

I hesitated. How do I give a man I've never even met my number? I mean... I know HOW... but WHY would I do that?

I gave it to him. And prayed that he'd never call. 

He never did.

Shortly after that incident, I had to stop working at the library. My schedule wouldn't allow for volunteering anymore. 

If I'm honest, I kind of miss getting picked up in the library.

Saturday Stories: In the Awkwardness of It All...

If I'm honest, I feel like I'm running out of stories. 

I've had a couple of droughts in my life when I go on no dates and no prospects. These have lasted anywhere between two years to three and a half years. Yep. Three and a half years with no one to crush on. Sad. 

The two year drought was about eight years ago. And it was over after I started college back up for my last year. That two year break made me feel more confident in a lot of ways, but definitely unsure of navigating the dating scene. 

In one of my classes, there was a very cute young man. Mark. I usually arrived early to this class, and sat outside in the hallway and read or studied. I seemed to be more successful at doing those things when I was not at home. Mark started to come to class around the same time I did and we'd sit next to each other and talk. Talk about our day and other stuff. We'd sit next to each other in class and sometimes be in the same group. We even discovered that he knew my cousin. I thought—FATE! This is FATE!

Since it was a consistent thing, I discussed with my roommates and they convinced me that maybe he did like me. I waited until we didn't have class anymore. I emailed him during the Christmas break and then invited him to a party my roommates were having. He came. 

Let me re-emphasize that: HE CAME!

I was shocked. And excited. And super nervous. Definitely not how I planned things.

And then, a couple of weeks later, I used our school directory and called him and asked him to do something on Friday. He already had plans. I suggested we could do something in the future. He said he'd call.

Mark never called.

I didn't have any other classes with him.

I never saw Mark again.

Back in the saddle? Nope. It took a little while longer. 

And maybe that's why I'm sometimes so hesitant about "making the first move". I have a hard time distinguishing between when a guy wants to just be friends/be nice and when a guy is interested. 

I've scoured the internet and let me tell you... the answers are ridiculous. The only good answer I get is from my SIL: "You just need more data. Keep gathering information."

So I gather... and gather... but then I have a bad habit of analyzing the gathering. Darn advanced degree that doesn't allow me to just gather. 

So, if you have any conclusions as to how to tell whether or not a guy is interested or just being friendly—please hit me up in the comments. It's going to save me another round of embarrassment. (And one day, I'll compile my own list and share it here.)

Saturday Stories: Drummers always win

I was in love with a drummer once.

He was in a band in high school. I didn't meet him until my senior year. I still remember seeing his band play and thing he was so cute. I knew the lead singer from junior high and the bassist was in my physics class. So I got some cash and I bought a CD. 

When the drummer walked by, I asked him to sign my cd. He agreed. And when he looked down at me with those blue eyes and asked if I was THE Emery Scott, my heart fluttered. 

We had been childhood friends. Went to preschool together. He used to play with me and my twin. He knew who I was. He could describe the outfits I used to wear. 

For four months, I dreamed and crushed on this boy. This cut boy who knew who I was. I went to every show. I befriended the band and became their groupie, hoping that he would notice me.

That was 11 years ago. We became friends on Facebook, but then I decided that it's probably best not to try and continue to live in the past. So I unfriended him. (I'm particular about my friends on Facebook). 

But I still love to sometimes think of those blue eyes and that kind drummer. 

Saturday Stories: Flirting At It's Best

I have never been a good flirt.

I feel like flirting requires some serious confidence. Confidence that I sorely lack when it comes to dealing with boys. I have plenty of confidence as we sit and watch football or another sporting match and I rattle of the lingo based on years of observing my father watch my brothers and asking him questions. But having confidence to flip my hair and not feel like I'm losing IQ points—this is a problem.

So, after taking a year and a half break, I found myself surrounded by some guys. I was still unsure of the whole flirting business. I didn't know how to do it. One of the guys asked me if I was free sometime that week.

This is it, I thought. A guy is finally asking me on a date.

He smiled and said, "I need you to babysit."

My face fell. I was confused. "Babysit? Who?"

"Me."

No one laughed. He didn't even laugh. I'm still unsure whether he was joking or was serious. We didn't make any plans at that time. We never went out. 

And since then, I've tried not to be too harsh.

Although, a couple of weeks ago I was forced to sit through looking at comics while the artist looked on. I'm still not sure what he thought he'd accomplish, except to discover that I don't have his type of humor.

Also, remember nerdy boy from work? Perhaps we've been sharing an office for a month. And maybe I had to move offices on Friday. And maybe we are going out next Friday? (YAY!)

Saturday Stories: The Set Up

It has certainly been a week.

I'm glad it's Saturday.

And that means, I get to remember a good story.

So, I have only been set up three times in my life. I wonder if it's I'm so odd that my friends fear setting me up because they may lose guy friends. Or maybe we really don't have that many guy friends.

Still, a friend offered to set me up on a date. She talked the guy up for some time before we actually could schedule a date. The week came, and he called me up. We had an awkward conversation on the phone and then later in the week he sent me a text and just said to dress comfortably. 

I went to my friend's house where I met up with her and her fiancé. My date arrived and off we went to go bowling and have pizza. I usually love bowling, but it was awkward to go bowl and come back and be in the middle of a conversation where I had no idea what they were talking about. So the conversation seemed to always be changing directions. He was nice though.

The ride back to my friend's house, though, was awkward. He decided that he didn't want to take the freeway. We were going to take the side streets. I tried to not panic, but I really don't like taking side streets. I want to know where I'm going. It's a control issue. But he seemed nice enough so I shouldn't have been too frightened.

He dropped me off next to my car (he never got out of the car to open the door for me and had pulled up next to my car) and then drove off because he needed to get to work for the night. 

There wasn't a second date.

But don't worry, my friend did tell this guy's mom that I was perfect for him. When I met his mom at my friend's bridal shower, she seemed very interested in being buddy-buddy with me. That was the best part. I didn't have the heart to tell her that it probably wasn't going to happen. 

So, noted: Don't talk to the mom until there's at least been three dates...

Saturday Stories: Blinded by...

I always appreciate when my friends try to play matchmaker and set me up with someone.

It's a rare occurrence. 

If I'm honest, I'm sometimes jealous when my friends set each other up on dates because I wonder if I'm really so quirky that there is NO one that my friends know that might enjoy being out on a date with yours truly.

Yes, it's a self-centered thing to think.

But one time, in my last year of college, my friend decided that she would set me up. I hadn't been on a date in two years. I had lived abroad and so was very nervous. He had driven from out of state on Friday night and the plan was for us to go to a musical performance in Salt Lake City, about an hour drive from where we were.

I left the college football game I was attending early (which you should know was a large sacrifice as I am a die hard college football fan—thank you to my brothers for that) to go home and get ready.

He (we shall call him Will) arrived home with my roommate but as time passed, I realized that with traffic and travel time, we would not be making it to the musical performance. On top of which, we didn't really have tickets. Will was a reporter for his college newspaper and had planned to get me in on his press pass.

Instead, we took my roommate and Will's friends to the mall. I felt like I was sixteen again as we wandered around the mall and met up with other friends of my roommate and my date. Dinner was going to be at the food court.

Will did pay for dinner. But we sat at one of the long tables, and I was at the very end. My date was more interested in talking to his friends than to me. And as a naturally shy person to begin with, I was miserable because I didn't know what to ask or say.

One of the friends had brought his friend along. We'll call this new boy, Mark. Mark started actually talking to me. Asking me questions. We engaged in conversation. Will noticed this and tried to pull his attention away to our conversation, but the truth was—he wanted to be with his friends.

When everyone had finished dinner, we started to walk back to the car. Will, Mark, and myself were the last in the group. Will and Mark began discussing country dancing and Mark tried to explain a new move to Will. He then turned to me and asked if he could demonstrate with me. I gladly accepted (even though my dancing skills are nil). As soon as we were done, Will grabbed me and tried to show off a move too. 

Mark and his friend had to leave, and unfortunately, I couldn't give him my phone number as I was on a date. My roommate decided that she might need a ride home, but had to run a couple of errands in the mall. 

Will and I sat for another 45 minutes on one of the couches in the mall and just talked. It was forced conversation. And soon, my roommate returned to say that she didn't need a ride. 

We walked to the car and Will asked what my recommendations were for how to spend the rest of the evening. My creativity is low when it comes to last minute planning. I told him that we could go bowling or to a movie. Will honestly answered that he was tired from having arrived in town at 2 AM and would we mind if we cut the date short (it was 10 PM). I certainly didn't. 

He took me home, came inside, asked if he could call me when he came back into town. I smiled and nodded, though secretly wishing that he would never call (he didn't). And then laid on the couch and cried. 

Dating sucked. And so I was bound and determined to never go on another date. Ever. 

That had to be the low point, right?

Saturday Stories: Dating and Work

I should've written more this week. Last week I was traveling. No posts.

This week, I was working on finishing my semester. Did I ever explain that I'm working on a masters?

No?

That's something for another post.

But today, I have a new story. Names have been changed to protect the innocent and not-so innocent.

***

Before I left for my vacation to the East, there was a new boy at work who started to flirt with me. I have dreaded talking to him because I naturally flirt back, but I'm not sure how much I like him. I have too many successful brothers and they have pretty much ruined any and all men for me because deep down, I hope that the man I marry is just as successful as they are—or at least in the path to become such.

When I returned, we've seen each other a few times. Yesterday, I went to drop some stuff off with him and then head to a meeting (for which I was already late for! I just HAD to do some shopping during lunch and purchased an adorable green skirt. Pics to come later). 

Of course, he wanted to chat. Get to know me.

 And I stayed because:

a) I like the attention. 

b) I need to give him a shot.

c) I really didn't want to go to my meeting.

So, we chatted about our weekends. My desire to go see The Avengers but without all of my crazy friends who are taking their boyfriends. 

That's when he piped in. 

"I saw it last night at the midnight showing. It was awesome..." Long pause. "If you want some company, I'd be happy to go with you tomorrow night."

I smiled and thanked him. "I'm sorry. I already made plans with some other friends to avoid going with this group."

But then the question was just hanging out there in the universe. I didn't want him to think that I was rejecting HIM... Just the offer for tomorrow night because I REALLY do have plans. So I threw him a bone. 

"I was thinking about going tomorrow morning. You can come if you want to... But you are working on a house."

"That's only because I had nothing better to do. I'll come if you want me to."

It's a volleyball game. He kept volleying it back to me. And I kept sending it right back to him. 

We exchanged numbers.

And then last night, I realized that unfortunately, with my schedule for today, there will be no movie. And so I had to make that call. 

He answered it while riding his bike. I don't know how I feel about that. I told him that probably wasn't safe. And then I explained the situation. And again, he said "We should do something sometime."

I had practiced the line so many times. I was supposed to say, "Yeah. I'm free next Saturday if you want to plan something and get back to me." 

What came out was: "Yeah. That would be awesome."

*facepalm*

I realize that this is practice. Practice interacting with boys since my ability to do so in a dating setting is nil. But I'm nervous how Monday is going to go. 
And so continues my life...

Saturday Stories: Grandma's Love

Normally, I tell one of my stories.

But today, in honor of my grandma, I want to tell her love story.

She met a handsome young man when she was seventeen and had moved from her small town in Illinois to San Francisco. He worked with her brother. But he was rather conceited. He knew that he could any girl he wanted. And he wanted Jennie. 

But being the youngest, Jennie knew how to push back. He wasn't sure how much he liked that. He liked it enough to keep trying to win her over. 

Their relationship was perfect, except for their few spats. Her siblings liked him alright, but Chad was Mormon from Salt Lake City. And that could only lead to bad things. Jennie decided that she liked him. Who cares if he's a Mormon? He's a good man who works hard and is quite handsome. In those days, that was all that mattered (if only we could go back to those days).

And so it was that on Thanksgiving, Jennie and Chad found themselves obligated to attend three different dinners. 

In between one and two, they got into a fight.

Between two and three, they got engaged.

Chad yelled at Jennie, "If I bought you a ring, would you wear it?" While they drove to house number three.

Jennie yelled back, "If you bought me a damn ring, I'd wear it."

And so it was that their love story began. And lasted for years. 

I love that story.

Saturday Stories: First Boyfriend

I was surprised when he came along. I was 16 and a half and he was in my junior year English class. He had just moved back to the States from England. Maybe that's why I was so intrigued by him. 
And he flirted with me constantly. 

I always took the same seat and he always found a way to sit behind me. 

Pull my hair from the clip and flip it around. 

Try and jump into my conversation.

I was won over quite easily. 

Probably because until that point I was only the girl that talked to the football players about the game or the girl that all of the guys called "fat". I mean I realize I'm still curvy and larger than average, and back then I also wore baggy clothes and shorts, and didn't know how to do hair or make-up. I would sit at home on Friday night and wonder why I couldn't go out on dates (believe me, I'm well past wondering now. I got smarter as I got older). So it makes sense that this boy would win me over by simply treating me like I was a girl. 

So we went on a date. Of course I was nervous. I was well aware of his experience with girls. And therefore well aware of my inexperience. 

On that first date, he gave me my first kiss. That story can only be told in person, I fear. 

Sadly, after two weeks, two dates, and one minimal break up, I finally ended whatever "it" was.

I can even pinpoint the moment when I knew I wasn't into him. 

We were walking to my chemistry class holding hands and I saw some guys I had known for two years walking toward us, and I dropped his hand. I was embarrassed and self-conscious. And I realized that I would rather be holding hands with one of those guys (who although kind to me never really went out of their way to talk to me). 

Maybe I was scared of letting someone like me. Probably. Or I just really wanted a boyfriend. 

But I am grateful that to have at least one story.

Saturday Stories: Love in the Library

My sister-in-law once responded to one of my stories with "This doesn't happen to normal people."

She's so kind.

Saturdays are my day to kick back and tell the funny stories that happen in my life. The stuff that make my sister-in-law gawk and stutter and not know how to respond because these things don't happen to normal people. But they happen to me.

I used to volunteer on Saturdays at one of the local libraries. I would organize books and straighten the books on all of the shelves in the fiction area. I know--it sounds thrilling. But I wanted to be a librarian, so this was my chance. 

While I was doing my work, a young guy walked up to me and asks about getting onto the computers. Having only been there a few months, I wasn't very knowledgeable about procedures but I found him the librarian on duty and politely sent him on his way.

However, he turned and asked my name. He told me his name was Marco. Yes, he was an exotic foreigner to my little city. With a nice diamond earring in one ear.

I chuckled to myself after he left. What had just happened?

Marco came back though and tried to chat with me. Tell me how he was new to town and didn't really have any friends. I continued to straighten the books (I get very shy around most gentlemen. It unnerves me to flirt and be flirted with). I answered some of his questions but couldn't really look him in the eye.

I wondered what I should do if he asked for my number. I had never been asked for my number before. I didn't know anyone's phone number off the top of my head except for my mother's. That would do me no good!

Luckily, that fear was never realized. He finally got the picture that I wasn't flirting back (apparently I can be stand-offish and intimidating, or so I've been told). Marco just said, "Well, I'll be on the first floor.... At a computer down there." He may have winked too.

Ten minutes later, I left for the day. 

I didn't stop by to see Marco. 

Maybe I should've. 

But I definitely wouldn't have any more stories if I did....