Saturday Stories: The One When I Went 4-Wheeling

Saturdays are my day to kick back and tell the funny stories that happen in my life. 

The stuff that make my sister-in-law gawk and stutter and not know how to respond because these things don't happen to normal people. 

They happen to me.

There used to be this guy who attend church with me. I'd talk to him at activities, text him when I knew there was some function or gathering planned, but all-in-all, I saw that a) I definitely wasn't interested in him and b) he was pretty much using me to meet the girls at church. 

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for organizing gatherings, giving my friends courage to talk to the boys. But I really do hate when boys use me to get to my friends. 

So, this guy—we'll call him Ryan—had planned a fantastic date with a girl from church (not one of my friends) and lined up his roommate with her half sister. It was set for Labor Day. 

Ryan texts me at about 9:00 AM asking if I would be interested in going 4-wheeling. Having no plans for the day, never having been 4-wheeling, and since I rarely go out with a boy, I said yes. Apparently, his date called him up that morning and canceled because the sisters had been in a fight.

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The dune buggy was too loud for much conversation to happen. He didn't bring a water bottle for me at all. We mostly drove around this mountain side. Up and down. No talking. And all I could think of was how I wish I had a book with me. 

Periodically, we would stop... but it was always so that he could go off into the bushes and relieve himself (seriously... one time he was so close, I could hear it and another time he took a phone call while doing his business). 

The ride home was my favorite part. We were in his truck and he talked about his previous girlfriends. Ryan said something to the effect of "If she never gets married it's because she turned me down. All because I still haven't gotten a bachelor's and she has her masters."

I wish there were words to describe how I felt. I had just started my third semester of my masters program. I certainly didn't look down on him for still working on his bachelor's, but it was his arrogance and his seemingly condescending attitude that any girl dare say no to him. And on top of that, he talks to me about all of the girls at church who he is interested in and asking me what I think about them and his chances with them.

Although I didn't have any inclination or desire to further this relationship, at that moment I thought, "You have absolutely no respect for me, because if you did, you wouldn't be talking about these girls as if they were a piece of meat while I'm here on the date with you."

Needless to say that after that, I barely ever spoke to Ryan. 

Maybe I was mean. Maybe I was judgmental. But my self-esteem is very soft, so I can't allow myself to be surrounded by guys who don't treat me well. Even if it is a mercy date.

Hence my new rule to dating: I refuse to go out with a guy last minute.